Divorce – It’s Not Just A Vital Records Entry

It’s the big “D” word that most of us don’t acknowledge or talk about it. Sure, we see divorces in our research and we see court records of what happened between two people, but it’s still treated as a hushed subject. It’s never pretty, it isn’t easy and it certainly isn’t something we ever think will happen to us.

That was my thinking.

Until I became part of that statistic (40% – 50%).

My ex-husband and I had been together since I was 18 years old. We met at college when we were freshmen and fell madly in love with each other. A mere six months later, we were married. For years we were happy, but it wasn’t to last.

Today was our 13th wedding anniversary, we are no longer together. It’s a bittersweet day.

Becks on her wedding day

Going through this has given me a perspective on genealogy, families, and relationships that I didn’t quite have before. I, in my innocence and naivety, thought that it could never happen to me. And that divorces only happened if something really bad, like adultery or abuse, happened. Little did I know I was dead wrong.

Like all people and relationships, we both evolved and changed into different people. We didn’t leave each other because of hate or malice — we just weren’t the right people for each other any longer, and to be honest, that is absolutely okay.

After that realization, I’ve started looking at divorces in genealogy and family history differently. Not all of them are because of bad events or hate. Some people just aren’t meant to be together any longer than they should be. And really, wouldn’t you rather your family be happy?

What are your thoughts on divorce + genealogy? Share them with us on our Facebook page. #onfleekfamilyhistory

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